Chapter 2: The Awakening

My blood is rushing through my head to the point I have a headache, palms sweaty and adrenaline
spiking as I follow the path to the top of the cliff on .Jell-O legs. Walking in behind the others, like me,
who are to go through the ceremony at the highest point of the full moon. lm breathless, fighting the
nausea and internal shaking of fear, body trembling, as l watch where I step, a little too closely, and
almost collide with the girl in front of me. Staggering sideways and kicking stones in my path,
accidentally, to avoid her.



“Watch where you are going, reject!” The growl of one of our accompanying mentors hits me in the side
of the face with an open palm as he leans in close and shoves me back in line, harshly. Hard enough to
send me crashing into the rock face, we are brushing up against and I almost hit the ground with the
force, coughing out a whimper of pain. I catch myself, right my body quickly, ignoring the burning pain
of grazes, and skip two steps to catch up and get back in line while rubbing my bruised arm and
shoulder from the collision. Trying not to look his way, knowing if I do, he will probably smack me in the
face for showing zero respect to a superior.



He's called Raymond, and he's around twenty-four. One of the Alphas main pack leaders of the subs,
one of the Santos, and he hates anything to do with us. Another superior wolf from a pure bloodline
who sees us as an inconvenience and unworthy to breathe his air.





This is the reality of my life and how little value I have in this hierarchy. Reject is the name for all of us,
like we don't have separate identities anymore and I can't wait to be free of these people and this life.



“Halt!”" A booming low and gravelly voice ahead of us stops us all in our tracks as we come to the level
top of the cliff known as “shadow rock.. It's more of a large plateau than a rock but the sun never
seems to lay its light and warmth in this nook of the mountain and yet it gives us a direct and
uninterrupted view of the moon every night. It's been the point of this ceremony for hundreds of years
and we're finally here.



I pull myself past the girl in front of me and come to her side to gaze at the familiar scene before us.
Stomach churning up with the knowledge it's happening. The ceremonial set up of flares and burning
fires at points near the ledge, are already there and glowing bright, all the way around the curve of this
large platform. Creating a red and amber glow that illuminates the space in what will soon be wall to
wall darkness of this still night. The center of the clearing is marked out with symbols in chalk and a
large set of circles surround them, one for each of those who are to awaken. I shudder inside as reality
hits home that this is really it and I have nowhere to hide. You can't outrun it, there's no way to stop it
from happening.



“Clothes off here and put these on” scratchy grey blankets are thrust into our arms by a tall muscular
Santo, looking down at us with almost black eyes as he snarls his contempt. Probably annoyed that
they even allow my kind to go through this like everyone else does. Walking past as he dishes them out
and Ì am aware that many have gathered around the ledges, and above us on the edges of the cliffs
above to watch this.





All the packs are here already, and right in the middle stands Juan Santo and his immediates. His
second in command, his third, and his son, Colton. The ceremonial Shaman in full dress ¡is standing
with his staff awaiting the start of his duties. Something he could do with his eyes closed l expect, as he
has been here for so many years.



I don't wait to question the order, eyes down, nerves frayed but get to it. I know the drill. I throw it
around my shoulders to conceal my body as best | can, the same as the others and we quickly strip
down inside our coverings with haste. Discarding our things into neat piles we will return to later.



Transforming rips your clothes to shreds, so being naked is the best way to deal with it. Afterwards
we'lI be able to get dressed again, but for now, this itchy old blanket is all I have to cover my modesty.
Not that anyone cares. Nudity among wolves is common and not something they actually stare at or
find abnormail. So many turn at the blink of an eye and come walking back in human form with no
covering at all. Is another sign of weakness to be body shy and hide if you have to come home without
your clothes.



Obviously, the Alpha types walk around in the nude without any worries, being they are physically
perfect. The only time it's an issue is if a mate is being ogled by someone who isn't hers. Males are
territorial, jealous, and aggressively unpredictable when mated up so is common for regular
testosterone fights over looking at each other's woman.





It's kind of basic and primal and another reason | won't miss being part of a pack. Were animals by
nature and humans would be disturbed by what is normal among us. Ì mean aggression, physical
hostility and even beating each other is not viewed in quite the same way that humans would between
married people. Mates fight, sometimes in wolf form and bites and scratches are usually the best way
to work out a dispute.

I undress fast and leave my clothes and shoes in a neat pile between my ankles to stand up, pulling my
blanket around me snugly to await the next orders and shield myself from the cool air. Visibly shaking
with nerves, and I glance around me quickly to see equal fear, pale skin, and solemn faces of the
others. m not the only one who is terrified. We ve all seen how bad this gets and before the night is out,
will have felt pain incomparable to anything we ve been through in our lives.

“Move!” Raymond shoves the male to my left to make him lead the way, and we dutifully follow. Silently,
in a line to the open clearing and head towards the chalk circles awaiting us. l close my eyes for a
second and try to swallow the clawing fear spreading through my veins like ice, my throat dry and itchy
with the effort. Holding myself together, I quickly move to the first circle l see as the line in front of me
dissipates. Hundreds of eyes on us as they watch and wait. Silence every on the oncoming night and I
look up to the sky to find some sort of eternal calm. Soon it will be dark and dotted with twinkling Stars
but for now, it's daylight and we have to begin. The moon will be upon us soon enough.



After everyone shuffles quickly into place and settles, the hush is broken with the booming voice of the
Shaman as he gestures for us all to sit while he raises his staff. I do as I am told, slide down quickly,
and sit cross legged within my blanket on the cold hard, gritty ground beneath me. Trying to get enough
of the covering underneath me to make it less uncomfortable. i'm aware of the penetrating stares from
all around and I try to blot them all out.





“Drink” Something hard shunts me in my ribs from behind and I strangle a yelp, sitting upright sharply
and spin my head around to see a wooden cuụp held out to me. Another Santo shoving it into my hand
as I unravel it out to take it.



“What's it for?” I ask innocently, always wondering when we watched from a distance and stupidly naive
to think ""I get sense from one of them.

“Drink it and find out” he smirks, walking away with no real answer. l sigh, internally irritated at his
attitude, before staring down at the dark amber liquid contained within, its heavy scent of herbs and
perfumes wafting up into my face. l spot the others drinking it down fast without question and I follow
suit. It Tastes like thick gloopy honey, laced with all sorts of chemicals that burn my throat as l take it
down and almost choke on its thicker consistency. Ì gag but manage to claw myself into staying still
and swallowing hard with multiple gulps. Closing my eyes as the taste turns bitter, spreading down my
throat and into my stomach and immediately warms them both. I can feel it disperse into my veins and
limbs, knocking the cold of the rocks away from anywhere my skin touches and almost immediately l
start to get a little woozy. The ground around me moving and swaying softly, like the sea coming in on
the tide.



I shake my head but it's completely pointless. Hunching forward so l dorr fall over, l now understand
why every time Ï watched this, the newest to awaken would sit the whole ceremony slumped down and
immobile until they turned.





Seemingly oblivious to all of the ceremony and its stages as light faded to dark. They have drugged us
for the pain, and I start to lose track of everything around me as a veil of surreal sweeps up like a warm
fluffy warm fog and devours me

whole.



I don't know how long we are this way, what's happening as all I can hear is the chant of the Shaman
as he dances around, shaking things, singing, and clapping. Vision blurry and coming in waves, my
body heavy yet detached and l no longer feel like l am really here or even conscious. Time passes but I
have no clue how fast or slow, and all I know is it gets dark so quickly around me and I can seem to
stop myself drifting into space or losing track and fading away. Cocooning me into the little bubble of
black space around me where the smell of fire and incense makes me giddy and sleepy. it's peaceful
yet somehow, it's not, and there's a stirring of awareness and fear almost out of reach.



There's warm hands on me, maybe, but i'm not sure, the sudden breeze although it does nothing to
cool my eternal warmth. Lulling into a weird state of semi sleep and can no longer open my eyes or
really understand what is going on around me. lts almost pleasant.



Cold liquid and wrinkled hands, as something is smeared across my forehead, making me flinch with a
second of reality and l grasp to focus on the dancing form in front of me. Rattling, blowing smoke,
chanting a song as it runs down the bridge of my nose and I pull from memory that the new turns are
marked with a fresh blood kill in preparation for our own turn. My face will bear the mark of wolf with an
animal our Alpha will have slaughtered.



The roughness of something pulling across my skin startles me slightly, and then suddenly I'm levitating
out flat or floating, or maybe just lying down. No clue anymore. l'm too wasted to have any sort of idea
about what my body is doing, and the heavy, loud tones, of the wolf song echoes across the mountain
as the packs sing to welcome our moon. I've never felt anything close to this, not even being drunk for
the first time a few months ago, when we found some booze in the orphanage storage cupboard.

Memory of witnessing this many times reminds me that they take them and pull the blankets free for
the turning; laying them down to be blessed by the full moon and logically a part of my brain is telling
me this is what is happening. It's almost like l'm no longer attached to my limbs and as a warm
sensation trails firmly across my cheek, a raspy voice comes through the fog at me.

”It's going to hurt... | can't wait to watch it, reject. Or maybe | might take advantage of you like this.
Finally get my way.” | barely recognise the voice, but gut instinct tells me its Damon, a boy from the
Conran pack who tried to kiss me a year ago. He cornered me in the school corridor, pushed me
against the wall and tried to force me to kiss him while shoving his hand up my dress. | fought him off,
left him with a nice scratch down his smarmy face and he has been gunning for me ever since. Not that
I marked him badly, we heal fast, but I obviously left a dent on his pride and his ego.



| can react and as a hot invasive sensation moves down my shoulder | can only squirm, wanting so
badly to get his hands off me. Hes not that dumb though and with all eyes on us, he leaves me alone to
my fate as l try to fight to come back to a sense of now. Suddenly afraid that after this is done, he will
be the one to tend to me like this. Responsible for ushering me back to my clothes and the concealed
shadow of the cliff edge. Who knows what he will do? I don't recall if the turning takes you out of the
drug induced stupor when it's done, or not.

| can't dwell on it any longer, as soon as l do, a burning light hits me hard over the entire surface of my
body, almost like a blow torch was turned on and l spasm instinctively into an arched position on the



floor. Every inch of my skin bubbling and blistering to searing levels of torture as though I have been
set alight and I strain and claw the ground beneath me, gasping with effort. Breaking nails on rough
terrain as I scramble for relief and yet can do nothing but scream.



Crying out in pain, writhing in agony, as an intense sensation rips my skin from my bones and engulfs
me entirely. My voice deepens, scraping and running hoarse like l'm swallowing splinters and cries
become growls, my throat almost bursting into flames with the effort. For a second, it's like [mm being
strangled. [mm under attack, my body is being ravaged, wisted, snapped and slain, but this isn't
another wolf... this is the turning. lts so muụch worse than | ever imagined it could be.



Cracking, convulsing, and devastating agony, rip through me hellishly. Sending me rolling around in a
bid to relieve the pain as grime, rocks and dust scrape at my flesh and burn as | graze across them. |
whimper and moan, but it alleviates nothing of the torture of my body crunching, shredding, itself apart.
| cry out, beg for my mother to save me, wail for the fates to stop this, and claw at the rocks, breaking
fingers with the sheer force of my fight and gouging what's left of my skin on sharp edges underneath
me.

No one could prepare me for what this feels like and I'm being turned inside out while slow roasted
over an open bed of hot coals. | can't breathe, l can scream anymore and silently l writhe and jerk and
twist and turn as i am consumed by hell.

Our noises are drowned out by the stamping, chanting, and clapping of the packs, thundering through
the ground and reverberating through my broken, smashed body... giving way to howls as the moon
reaches its peak and they encourage us to make the final transition to become like them. Combining to



howl, under strict orders that none other are to transform tonight and break the ceremony. Only the new
shall change tonight, only our blood will spill as our human form is destroyed to build something better.



| want to die.



The pain is unbearable, driving me to the brink of insanity and it truly feels like my human self is being
tortured to nonexistence. Every bone in my body snaps and reforms as though it's being done
manually, one at a time, my flesh tears free and pulls away from muscle. i'm wet, a hot pouring out as
blood drains from the hellish self-inflicted wounds that seem to last forever, covering me in sticky warm
heat, smothering me and leaving a vile metallic scent all around. l can tell what's sweat, what is blood,
what is maybe other kinds of fluid. Barely holding on, reaching a pinnacle where my mind is on the
verge of collapse and the dregs of sanity teeter on a cliff edge. I howl and I strain with all my might, so i
extend my face up into the air and gasp with relief as my lungs inhale and I finally take a breath.

And then ... everything is still.

I just stops. Like having a cold drink poured over scorched sunburn and instant soothing hits hard and
intensely as my noise becomes silence, my burns become cool and my breaks become one.


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