Chapter 37

I woke around eleven.

My body was still on fire. I couldn't stop thinking about him. His hands all over me, his lips against my
neck. I wanted to scream at him. He did this to me, he was making me feel like this and giving me
nothing.

I wanted to cry.

I was sexually frustrated and pissed off at the same time. How did he think doing that to me was fair?
He told me with everyday that passes the bond will become stronger. How long was I going to feel like
this?

I didn't know how much more I could take. I had never felt like this with anyone. I've only ever had one
sexual partner, one boyfriend and yet I was ready to strip naked and let him have his way with me.

I wanted that, I still do.

Grabbing my pillow I screamed into it. What was happening to me? What was he doing to me? Pushing
the covers off I got out of bed checking my phone. Alanna had messaged me a few hours ago.

'Hey, are you okay? Want to come over? Or I can come to you. I have lots of snacks :) and I have
booze if you fancy it? Schools are shut until this is over.Ax'

I didn't know if I could handle the company right now but it did beat being on my own. I didn't need for
Jake to come back here. He couldn't come back here when I was like this. I didn't even know what was
happening to me.

'I'm good! Maybe come over in a little while. I'm not long up and it's way to early to drink lol but I could
use the company :)'



After showering and changing into fresh clothes I was sat at my kitchen island trying to think of
something other than sex and Jake or sex with Jake.

My gran kept to her word and was sending me messages every few hours. I was glad she wasn't here,
she would know straight away that something was wrong.

I had no way to burn my energy. I would usually run to get all my frustration out but I couldn't go outside
in that weather. Opening the fridge door my stomach dropped. I ruined the chicken last night and all I
could see were some eggs and turkey. What I would do for a muffin and a cappuccino right about now.
Taking the last two egg out the holder I placed them on the island and shut the door. Checking to see if
we had bread I cursed when I heard it.

Looking at the mess on the floor I cried out in frustration. Was anything else going to go wrong today? I
didn't know why I was getting upset over broken eggs.

"This was his fault". I groaned wiping at my eyes. I couldn't function because of him. Lifting my phone I
opened up a new message.

Hey, I don't really have any food here. Is there any chance you could bring me something over?! Sorry
to ask but I'm starving lol x'

I knew Alanna would pull through she always did. I also had no idea why it was okay for them to be out
in that and not me.

Every little thing was getting to me. I couldn't leave my house, I couldn't drive because of my hand. I
couldn't have sex because he wouldn't allow it.

"I wasn't ready". Huffing I balled my hand into a fist. How could he say I wasn't ready, he didn't know
me. My frustration was turning to anger. I was angry at him, I was angry at the way he just left. I wanted
him to touch me, god I wanted to touch him.



But no the big bad wolf says I'm not ready.

"Whatever". I sighed.

I was angry, frustrated and tired. I needed coffee and something in my belly. Going about the kitchen I
made myself a coffee.

I was sat to wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't hear her come in.

"I brought some goodies". She grinned placing the bag on the counter. "You okay?". She asked.

No I wasn't okay and you're brothers to blame. That's what I wanted to say but I didn't want to get into it
with her.

"I'm okay and thank you for this".

"My moms been cooking since sunrise". She sighed rolling her eyes. "Looking after everyone like
always". Yeah that sounded like Charlotte. She treated everyone like her own. Taking off her wet coat
she hung it on the door.

Getting two plates from the cupboard I watched as Alanna fixed the breakfast. "Any idea when the
storm will pass?". I asked.

"Take it your gran can't get home?".

"They aren't letting anyone in or out". I sighed.

"You can come stay with me until it's over". She suggested.

I couldn't, I couldn't be near him right now. Not when I couldn't control what I was feeling. Not when he
wouldn't touch me.



"The bond". She whispered causing my head to snap up.

"It's driving me insane". I groaned. I felt like a dog in heat. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to feel the
closeness. The tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach was still there.

"It's only going to get worse". She added.

That's not what I wanted to hear. "My body is on fire Alanna. I can't stop thinking about him, I'm
frustrated. I want sex". I cried.

She laughed and that only pissed me off more.

"It's not funny". I snapped. I didn't know what to do or how to control it. I wanted to claw my skin off, I
needed something to help ease the discomfort.

"No Leah I'm not laughing because you're like this I'm laughing because he's the same".

Good! He was suffering just as much as me.

"I haven't felt like this before. Why is it so intense right now. We've spent time together before and it's
never been like this".

"You acknowledged the bond, you accepted his wolf and until he marks you it's not going to go away, if
anything it'll only intensify. Everything will heighten, the way you feel right now is just a little of what's to
come".

"I-I can't do it". I cried breakfast forgotten about. "Why did he do this to me?". I asked.

"It's the world we live in Leah. This is how it works".

"Well it's a stupid world". Squeezing my legs together I sighed at the little bit of release. I needed
something, anything.



"You're strong you'll get through this. I know you will". She whispered.

"I-I need-...".

"You need him". Cutting me off she placed her hand on top of mine but I pulled it back. I didn't like that,
why did it feel like it burned.

She made a face.

"What, what is it?". I panicked.

"The bond". She sighed. "Until he marks you the discomfort you'll feel to the slightest touch by anyone
but him will feel like that".

"Please tell me you're lying". I groaned placing my head in my hands. "How many days will I feel like
this?". I couldn't handle it already, this bond, what it was doing to me.

"It doesn't have a time spam Leah. It's nature let it run it's course".

"Is it effecting me like this because I'm not like him?". The coolness of the counter against my face was
nice, soothing even.

"No it happens to us all. Regardless if you're a werewolf or not. The bond is a beautiful thing". Lifting
my head up I glared. It wasn't beautiful, it was anything but beautiful. My emotions were running high
and I didn't know if I wanted to burst out crying or punch something.

Sighing I pushed my chair back and got to my feet. I needed to cool off. I had to find a way to try and
settle the burning inside. Unlocking my back door I pulled it open.

"Leah it's pouring rain".



The coolness of the air was welcoming, satisfying. Closing my eyes I breathed deeply. It wasn't shifting
the pain but it was easing it, it was calming. I wonder if the rain against my skin would feel better.
Glancing at Alanna I shrugged my shoulders before I ripped the T-shirt from my body.

"Leah don't that's-..."

Pulling off my jeans I stepped outside. I didn't care that I was only in my underwear. I laughed when the
water touched my skin.

This helped.

"You'll catch a cold". She hissed.

I didn't care. The burning dimmed, the tingling easing. Walking further into my back yard I felt the grass
beneath my feet.

"Come back inside". She yelled.

The wind whipped around my body, the rain soaking my skin. This was crazy, I was crazy but I didn't
care. If this was the only way to make me feel better then so be it.

Latching onto my arm I hissed as she pulled me back up the yard and through the back door. She was
strong.

"Let me go". I cried. She couldn't touch me, no one could touch me. Handing me a towel I glared at her
as I took it.

"That was stupid". She hissed. "It's torrential rain outside and you thought standing in it would be fun".

"It helped". I snapped wrapping the towel around my body.

"No it was stupid. Could have just took a bath". She shrugged. "Now eat something".



We sat in silence as I picked at my breakfast. I wanted to go back outside. I was on edge, my body felt
like it was shaking from the inside.

"You need to dry off. Your hair is soaking". She sighed.

Shrugging my shoulders I lifted my plate emptying what I had left into the trash.

"It will get easier I promise".

"When?".

"When he decides to mark you. Once you wear his mark all of the discomfort and pain will go".

"When he decides?". I laughed. "So I could feel this way for weeks, months?".

"Potentially yes". She whispered.

Why was it his decision? Didn't I have a say? He knew what I was going through and if he was going
through the same then what was he waiting for?

"He's not as bad as me is he?". I asked. I already knew he wasn't. No one would suffer this is they
knew how to stop it.

"No he's not but it is effecting him".

I laughed sarcastically. "So he's willingly making me suffer, because that's what this is. It's torture, I
want-..." I stopped talking. What was the point, Alanna couldn't do anything, she couldn't take the pain
away.

"You got this". She whispered. "He'll break before you do, trust me".



"What do you mean?".

"He doesn't want to force anything on you. You think he likes seeing you like this. It's killing him Leah
but he has to wait it out. He has to make sure you want this, want him".

That did make sense when I thought about it.

"You're strong Leah and I know you can wait it out. Imagine being Jake right now, imagine having your
wolf clawing you on the inside desperate to come out".

"Is he in pain?". I whispered.

"Don't be surprised if he ends up on your doorstep tonight".

"He can't".

"The force of the pull is strong, the bond is strong, growing stronger and if he loses control to his wolf".

"You've no idea how much I want him, how much I want to go to him". I cried.

"It's natural Leah, trust the process".

How could I trust the process when I didn't know what it was.

"I bet I look ridiculous right now". I laughed. "Does it get better?".

"Get dried and dressed I'm going to take you to my moms and don't panic Jake won't be there. It's best
you talk to her".

"What, no. I can't talk to your mom about this". I felt the heat rise to my cheeks.

"You can". She grinned. "She gets it".



"She gets that I want her son to destroy my insides?".

"Maybe don't say it like that". She smirked. "But yeah she's the best person to talk to. She's been
through it remember".

I couldn't, I was too embarrassed. I needed to suck it up and deal with it. He was the only one that
could help me. It didn't matter what anyone else said it wasn't going to make me feel better.

"I need a distraction". I needed something to occupy my mind if I was going to get through today.

"Come for a sleepover. We'll watch movies, eat popcorn and get drunk". She grinned. "Surely that'll
take your mind off it".

"I don't want-..."

"He'll be patrolling most of the night. It takes his mind off it and it keeps his wolf at bay. He won't be
there I promise".

"Okay".

"Pack a bag and we'll leave soon. This storm isn't passing anything soon".

"She gets that | want her son to destroy my insides?".

"Maybe don't say it like that". She smirked. "But yeah she's the best person to talk to. She's been
through it remember".

| couldn't, | was too embarrassed. | needed to suck it up and deal with it. He was the only one that
could help me. It didn't matter what anyone else said it wasn't going to make me feel better.

"| need a distraction". | needed something to occupy my mind if | was going to get through today.

"Come for a sleepover. We'll watch movies, eat popcorn and get drunk". She grinned. "Surely that'll
take your mind off it".

"| don't want-..."

"He'll be patrolling most of the night. It takes his mind off it and it keeps his wolf at bay. He won't be
there | promise".

"Okay" ;

“Pack a bag and we'll leave soon. This storm isn't passing anything soon".



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