Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It’s crazy. Why did this happen? Am I dreaming?
I finally put everything behind and decided to quietly live for myself, but ended up here? No, it would be better if it’s a dream.
If I really went back on time, wouldn’t it be a lot worse?
It’s a shame to start over now.
“Ha…” A sigh of grief flowed out of my mouth. It sounded small without me knowing, but it seemed to be heard by Count Muller, who was standing behind me, the brother of my husband and the uncle of the children.
“You must be bored.”
“But isn’t it alright to endure this much? You have taken over the goose that lays the golden eggs.”
A blatant sarcasm mixed with a look of melancholy.
“Is that all you have to say?”
“What?”
“It seems that these are the only feelings expressed at your brother’s funeral. You can go back. I’m a very busy person. I can’t accept your comments.”
Instead of answering back, “What did you just say?” or “What kind of rude thing are you saying?” Count Muller just stared at me with a shaky look that seemed to indicate that he couldn’t speak because he was so speechless.
At this time of the year, I was just a child who was full of fear without even knowing what to do, but when I suddenly came out, I put on a fierce look. Ignoring the pathetic gaze that didn’t leave me, I again searched through my complicated mind.
It’s a serious problem if I am really in the past.
I mean, I have to repeat the last 7 years. I don’t want to repeat all the troubles I faced.
The memorial service was over while I was chewing on my thoughts alone. The burial ceremony was about to begin.
Therefore, I waited for a while until the priest who was in charge of the funeral Mass had finished praying, and then I stepped closer to the platform. The eyes of the people who followed my movements seemed to be stingy, but I only felt numb.
“Lady Neuwanstein?”
“Excuse me, sir, I would like to politely plead to everyone who gathered here, I would like to be with my husband for a while. I hope you understand.”
The commotion spread. While the mourners were coughing or frowning, I turned to look toward the children. To be precise, at Jeremy.
His face was still blank, but for me, who had been with him for nearly ten years, I could clearly see that he was angry with me.
The dark, cold green eyes are telling me clearly. What are you doing?
Ah, I’m the bad guy anyway. Let him stare, I’ll just ignore it.
In the quiet chapel, which got empty as I had asked, only the subtle scent of incense was hovering. The coffin was covered with a symbol of Neuwanstein-a lion-shaped badge.
I stared at it for a moment and quietly fell down by the coffin, “Long time no see, Yohen.”
Whispering and touching the lid of the coffin, the touch felt vivid. If this is really a dream, then it’s very realistic.
Originally, at this point in the past, I didn’t ask the mourners for time, nor did I sit alone and talk to the deceased. The little friction with Count Mueller earlier also didn’t occur.
At that time, I was so scared and confused that I was eagerly praying inside that I could hide from people’s eyes after the funeral.
How much tears did it take for that silly and careful composing girl to turn into a vicious witch in Neuwanstein?
Looking back now, there have been many mistakes and accidents. I’m so proud of myself for overcoming it all.
“Will you believe me if I told you I kept my promise? Can you believe how dazzling your children grew to be and how cold they were?”
I know that the dead can’t talk but I’m not waiting for an answer.
The image of the Holy Father and the Virgin Mary standing proudly on the left and right sides of the altar and looking down made them look as if they were laughing at me.
“Where did something go wrong? I don’t want to blame anyone. It was my husband who made me promise, but it was me who did everything terrible to keep the promise.”
I ran like a burning tank without even thinking of looking back or looking around. In order to let people’s rumors about me spread one, misunderstandings and contradictions piled up.
It’s just…
“But I can’t do it twice. I don’t want to live like a villain, I’m too tired of it.”
…… I didn’t know that it would be so painful when I wasn’t shown gratitude for my hard work.
What kind of gratitude did I hope for from the children? A thanks? Respect? Affection?
“Do you know? I really wanted to see Jeremy’s wedding.”
As I bowed my head, the long pink hair that flowed over the tube was disorganized. The feeling of tears flowing down my cheeks was too vivid for me to dream of.
If I really traveled back to the past, doesn’t that mean that God is asking me to make a different choice? Otherwise, this phenomenon can not be explained.
I don’t know how long I’ve been doing that, lying alone on the coffin and shivering for a long time. But finally, I slowly lifted myself up.
This is good-bye, Yohen, may this be our last goodbye………
As soon as I turned away, I almost screamed as I faced the person I had least expected.
My heart began to beast like a rabbit in front of a beast.
How long has he been in here?
The boy standing about six steps away from me was none other than Jeremy. He’s not the healthy 21-year-old man who is familiar to me, but a young-looking Jeremy who is still standing on the border between a boy and a young man.
As the image of the boy in front of me and the young man in my memory overlapped, a strange feeling that I couldn’t express came up.
“Jeremy? Why did you come in?” I quickly wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and asked. Jeremy didn’t answer. Silently across my wet face dark green pupil, as if across a confusion of light looking at you.
I felt like a confused light flashed across his dark green eyes, sweeping my wet face without saying a word.