Volume 4 - Chapter 73.2

Chapter 73.2
[Subaru: ――――]
No words escaped him .
There was nothing he could say .
So near, her light-blue eyes were looking directly into his .
He felt like could drown in the depths of the compassion in those eyes .
[Rem: I love you, Subaru-kun . ――And so, everything is alright]
[Subaru: Th, at’s…… not an answer……]
[Rem: Yes, it is . It’s the reason I’m here . The reason I forgive Subaru-kun . The reason I’m holding you now―― all of it is because of that]
Close enough to feel each other’s breaths, Rem’s smile softly grasped Subaru’s heart like an invisible hand .
He couldn’t move . Not even a twitch . Reaching around his back, her delicate hand clasped onto the hems of his clothes, tightly, tightly, so tightly as if to merge into one, she held him in her embrace .
[Rem: It must have been tough, Subaru-kun]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Rem: All alone, taking all the pain onto yourself…… it must have been hard, Subaru-kun]
[Subaru: ――――hg]
[Rem: You don’t have to bear all that sadness anymore, it’s alright]
With no words to answer her, Subaru desperately tried to keep everything from flooding out, while Rem’s sweet whispers went on .
Gently unravelling his heart, melting away his obstinance .
[Rem: All of Subaru-kun’s pain, grief, and weakness, all of it, Rem will bear it for you]
[Subaru: …………]
[Rem: Everything Subaru-kun wants to protect, to fight for, to accomplish…… leave them all to me]
[Subaru: …………]
[Rem: There’s no need for you to carry every single burden . ――You can leave them all to me . For now, just rest, and go to sleep]
[Subaru: ……I, I]
[Rem: And let me see the Subaru-kun that I love once again]
Rem set her hand against Subaru’s cheek and raised up his face, gazing directly into him .
Her lips tightened, as if with some hesitation, as she drew her face closer .
What was she doing? What would happen next? Even his lagging consciousness could understand .
So close, near enough to feel her breaths, the lovely girl’s lips were approaching .
It’d be fine if they overlapped, intertwined, drowned, melted, and merged with his, wouldn’t it?
――Regardless of right and wrong, she would forgive him, wouldn’t she?
Just how deeply had Rem’s gentle words seeped into Subaru’s heart?
His indeterminate emotions, his soul, agonizing over whether or not to reach for the helping hand, along with the entirety of this Subaru’s existence was once again saved by the girl who knew everything about him .
To this powerless Subaru, Rem extended her hand .
Against this fragile Subaru’s back, Rem added her support .
On this foolish Subaru’s path, Rem took his hand and offered to show him the way .
By so shamelessly, clinglingly, relying on her so entirely―― would he be led to the answer at last?
What point is there, in struggling on alone?
Worn to the core, lost without a footing, no longer sure where to turn his steps, perhaps he should, just, give up, everything, and leave it t――
&123;Giving up is easy&125;
[Subaru: ――――]
&123;But,&125;
[Subaru: ――――]
&123;――It doesn’t suit you, Subaru-kun&125;
He heard a voice saying .
[Rem: ――Subaru-kun?]
Puzzled, Rem asked in front of his eyes .
It was only natural, since just before their lips could meet, a hand was placed between them .
The sweet sensation of entwining tongues that was supposed to have come grew distant, while a wavering, wounded glimmer flickered in Rem’s eyes .
Watching this wavering glint through the gaps between his fingers, Subaru spoke .
[Subaru: ――Who, are you?]
[Rem: Huh――?]
[Subaru: I just asked you . Who are you?]
[Rem: Subaru-kun, why’re y…… asking who, I……]
In front of Subaru’s quiet question, Rem’s throat seemed to choke up, unable to speak .
The faint, wounded color in her eyes deepened, as her expression became marked by grief . No matter what, it tore at Subaru’s heart to see this .
To distract himself from this feeling, he pressed his hand to his chest and bared his teeth .
[Subaru: When I…… was despairing and at the end of my rope, I genuinely wished that someone, anyone, could help me… and when I felt like it was impossible, and was about to give up…… I really wished, that you would come to me]
[Rem: ――――]
[Subaru: If you were there, you would console me, comfort me, while I sat there stuck hugging my knees… I believed that]
[Rem: ――――]
[Subaru: Just like this, you’d listen to my whining, let me spew out all my whimpers, watch me cry until I wring my tears dry……]
[Rem: ――――]
[Subaru: ――And then, you’d tell me to stand up]
The delicate touch of her fingers, the up-close warmth of her skin, and the immensity of her love, Natsuki Subaru remembered with all his body and soul .
And so, he could tell, without a doubt―― that this Rem before his eyes was an impostor .
[Subaru: She would never say “Rest for now”]
[Rem ――――]
[Subaru: She would never say “Give up, and leave it all to me”]
[Rem: ――――]
[Subaru: A girl who loves me, who’s loved by me, who’s kind to me, who’s head over heels for me―― who’s more strict and uncompromising with me than anyone else in this world, THAT is Rem!]
Springing to his feet, Subaru barked as he backed away from the Rem before his eyes .
Still on her knees, Rem looked up to Subaru without a word . Even now, he felt like he could drown in the sadness of her expression that was brought about by his rejection .
[Rem: No you’re wrong . Subaru-kun, listen to me! I… that’s not what I meant . It was just, I couldn’t stand seeing Subaru-kun suffering like this…… that’s why… I just wanted you to forget the pain and get some rest, that’s all!]
[Subaru: I’d let you see my weakness . I’d let you see my frailty . I’d let you see what a hopeless, worthless bastard I am . ――But I would never let you see me giving up]
“Subaru is a hero”, that was what Rem had told him .
And so, Natsuki Subaru had resolved to become Rem’s hero .
Ever since they exchanged that promise, Subaru had decided――
――That in this life, in this world, the only place where Natsuki Subaru would show his weakness, was in front of Rem .
Only in front of Rem, who despite knowing Subaru’s weakness still expected him to be strong, would he expose his own frailty .
Not Emilia, not Beatrice, he would let no one see it except Rem .
[Subaru: My weakness belongs to Rem . She accepts and shields my weakness, and in exchange, I will hold down any thoughts of giving up, and never let it out]
[Rem: ――――]
[Subaru: So fuck off, you fake . ――And don’t fucking coddle me wearing my Rem’s face and voice!]
Firmly declaring this, Subaru jabbed out his fist at Rem―― at the impostor .