Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Navia opened her eyes once again from death.
‘I have to live from the age of eight again.”
How long can I live this time?
The first rebirth she experienced was from her first death. She died in a carriage accident at the age of 20 in her first life and every time after that, she would always be reborn to the time when she first arrived in Anges. The reason for her sudden rebirth each time was unknown.
In fact, ‘rebirth magic’ doesn’t exist in the world.
Navia raised her arm to check her right wrist.
“The numbers are gone.”
Was the number gone because she had used up all her chances? She could no longer see the remaining count on her inner wrist. Yes, this was her last chance at living her life after eight consecutive failures.
Thud.
Navia dropped her arms weakly to her side and stared at the ceiling with hollow eyes.
“When did it start going all wrong?”
How could I stupidly endure and hope that something would change for eight lifetimes?
Trying to be loved?
Trying to be recognized for who she truly was?
Trying to be a family?
Why was I born?
She just wanted to be loved by her family, just like ordinary people. She just wished that someone would wish her a genuine ‘happy birthday’ while she blew out the candles on the cake.
When it rained and stormed, she wanted to be able to hug a teddy bear gifted by her parents. She wanted to be able to complain to her parents about not wanting to study or eat. She wanted to get into trouble for eating sweets after dinner and getting cavities from it.
She wanted to receive the same type of love that Wood and Vivian received…
“I was greedy and blind.”
Yes, she could admit it now.
The desperate fact that she cannot be loved.
Navia slowly grabbed her sheet. Tears pricked her eyes and her vision turned blurry. She clamped her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, muffling her voice so that no one could hear her cry. She didn’t want anyone to see her breakdown.
“Ugh…”
Sadly, she could not control her tears as tears flowed endlessly from the corners of her eyes. She wanted to pretend that she’s okay, but in fact, she was slowly falling apart on the inside.
Her heart clenched tightly; it was suffocating. It seemed as if all the emotions she had bottled up inside in her heart had burst forth without any warning.
Navia painfully gripped the clothes in front of her heart.
She had given up eight lives.
Navia had been admired as a prospective empress and had been viewed as the most beautiful flower in aristocratic society. The Agnes Family was able to strengthen their footing and remove all obstacles thanks to the information Navia acquired after each rebirth.
“Did you actually believe that you could become a real Agnes just because you did all of that for them?”
She devoted all her life and heart to the family, but she received nothing in return.
“Sobbb……”
Navia covered her face with her arms and burst into tears.
Don’t be sad. It will all be okay, I just need to endure it a little more…
She endured that foolish thought.
No, it was more accurate to say that she was ‘brainwashed’ to think like that. But after eight lifetimes, Navia could no longer live like that.
No! Things will not be okay and nothing will change. She was in pain. She was hurt. She was sad. She wished that this was all but a dream.
“I want to die.”
Did it make sense to continue living like this anymore? She had lived too long and she was tired. She was very tired.
“Should I just die?”
Then, everything would really be over.
“Huuuuu……”
She wanted someone to stop her. She wanted someone to save her.
‘I won’t hold any resentment or hatred. I just wish that someone could just take me away from here.”
Please.
Please…
No matter how much she prayed, nothing had happened.
“Hiccup.”
How long did she cry for?