Chapter 1619 - Wish

Chapter 1619 - Wish

“Who exactly are you!?”
Han Qiongzhi turned around and asked loudly. The Li Qingshan in her memories drooled over alcohol, lusted after sex, was easily angered, liked to mock others, knew pain, knew fear, and knew guilt, but he would never show such a feeble expression.
Even in the most dire of straits, against undefeatable opponents, he would definitely throw his last punch with a roar, only resting once he died.
“Yeah, who am I?” Li Qingshan fiddled around with the cup and smiled in a slightly self-deprecating manner. “Probably something like the lord of the Demon domain, the king of Demon Gods!”
That was him in the eyes of the living creatures, a god that carried all of their hopes and wishes. As for Li Qingshan, he was merely a mortal.
The noise beside his ear hummed and bothered him, making him unable to ignore it anymore. The dark rainstorm in his chest had swallowed everything.
Han Qiongzhi’s question had shaken up all of the peace in this tiny courtyard. Her fiery-red figure seemed to be burning and roaring, so bright that it was impossible to stare directly at her.
His gaze passed her, following the mottle, earthen walls and climbing up the thatched roof, climbing up the chimney and into the depths of the sky along the wisp of smoke.
In a daze, the mottled, earthen walls seemed to become towering peaks. The thatching was like blades and spears, while the chimney was like a lone city at the top of a mountain. There was no curling smoke, blue sky, or white clouds. It was clearly dust rushing up into the sky and dark clouds pressing down on the city.
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Crack! A fracture appeared on the cup. Before he knew it, his expression had changed.
The rooster crows and dog barking in the village all vanished, falling into a terrifying silence.
Han Qiongzhi widened her eyes, startled. He gave off a dreadful aura. The figure that sat before the square table seemed to be rapidly growing taller and larger, like an exceptionally steep, black mountain, where its sharp peak had already pierced the sky. No matter how hard she tried to gaze up, she was unable to see his full appearance anymore
He was so tall and distant, well beyond reach. He had already changed. He was no longer the man she was familiar with from before. He had become a god beyond her understanding.
His pain is probably something I can never understand anymore!
Han Qiongzhi’s heart throbbed with pain that refused to go away. She could not help but gaze at him blankly. His expression was fleeting and distant, yet it hid terrifying chaos and killing intent, like he was submerged in a bloody, murderous dream.
She blamed herself for berating him. She clearly just wanted to spend a day with him as an ordinary husband and wife, so talking about the past and drinking a bit was enough. Why couldn’t she give him this momentary peace before sending him on his way to the battlefield where he belonged?
“Qingshan! Qingshan!” An urgent voice woke Li Qingshan up from the dream.
He blinked his eyes. The earthen wall was still an earthen wall and the thatching was still thatching. This was not a battlefield, but home. The person before him was not the enemy, but his lover.
Han Qiongzhi shook his shoulders forcefully. There were tears in her eyes, but she bit her lip as if she had made some kind of decision. She said gently, “You’re right. That’s your business. I shouldn’t stick my nose in it. Eat up. Once I’m done, I’ll have a hearty drink with you!”
“Sorry. I got distracted.” Li Qingshan gathered his focus and smiled. The crack on the cup in his hand closed up again.
The crows continued to crow and the dogs continued to bark in the village as smoke curled into the air as if nothing had happened at all. However, it was also like they had reached some kind of agreement to not pursue these matters.
Li Qingshan extended his hand to wipe away the tears on Han Qiongzhi’s face. He smiled. “What are you crying for? Your man still hasn’t died!”
“Hmph, you’d be better off dead!” Han Qiongzhi grumbled.
Something as ominous as that was not any taboo to the two of them.
Coming from a military family, she had never placed too much emphasis on the concepts of life and death. Even if she heard the news of his death in battle just then, she would not have lost control like that. She would only silently prepare for his revenge. If she succeeded, then she succeeded, but if she did not, then she would die. It was no big deal.
However, the high-spirited young man who had just set off on his journey had left far too deep of an impression in her heart, leaving her momentarily unable to admit that the gloomy and lonely man right before her was the same person.
This transformation was simply too unexpected to her. Originally, she thought that by advancing valiantly and making it into the ranks of gods, he should have been even more high-spirited and complacent.
Just what kind of hardships could turn a man like that into this?
She held back the urge to ask that and returned to the kitchen, continuing to make food.
Li Qingshan gazed at her busy figure and let out a silent sigh. He really was not the type of person who liked to groan and grumble. Scars were nothing to be proud of. They were only scars, marks left behind by wounds.
Of course, they were not exactly a sign of disgrace either. It was just when you showed others scars, those who hated you would only laugh at your weakness and uselessness, finding pleasure in it, while those that loved you would suffer for you, even persuading you to take another path.
He neither wanted to be mocked, nor did he want to hurt anyone, much less change his path. No matter how much pain and hardships there were, that was all from the path he had chosen. Even if he was smashed to pieces, he had no regrets.
But at this moment, he had the urge to tell her everything. He refused to let her be disappointed in him, wanting her gentleness and sympathy.
I’m probably drunk. Li Qingshan thought tipsily. In the past, he felt like she possessed many similarities to Chao Tianjiao, but only now did he discover that they were actually completely different. The biggest difference was probably the fact that she remembered how “Li Qingshan” was originally.
Even after countless dangers and problems, that was still the form he had always wanted to retain. Now, since he had already begun to change, perhaps he owed her an explanation.
Suddenly, he raised his head and drank all the wine in his cup. “Qiongzhi, would you like to hear my story?”
“Go on! I’m listening!”
Han Qiongzhi paused for a moment before continuing onwards, serving up dishes after dishes.
However, Li Qingshan’s voice faltered, like he was having difficulty in finding his words. “You… erm… I made… a choice for the sake of greater power. I originally thought… I originally thought I would never make this kind of choice, even if I died!”
Han Qiongzhi listened closely. She understood a little more, but she also had a few more doubts, except she did not speak up.
“I’ve never told you how Xiao An and I met, have I?” Li Qingshan’s thoughts flew, but he did not begin with his experiences in the Human realm and the Demon domain. Instead, he began at the start of everything.
Han Qiongzhi nodded.
“Back then, I was still in Crouching Ox village. I was far weaker than even when I first met you. Yeah, it really was miserable. I toiled every single day with little to eat, even suffering from abuse all the time, but I never actually cried. I even called myself Li Qingshan, which meant ‘Must you be buried in your place of home? Sufficient are the green mountains overgrown’.”
“I was actually quite stubborn as a person, just like my old ox back then. I was not particularly afraid of dying either… But afterwards, I encountered Xiao An, and I cried. It had nothing to do with me, but I was just saddened, so I cried. At that time, I decided to avenge her no matter what, to help her find her home.”
Li Qingshan’s eyes were bleary as he rambled onwards. He mentioned many matters of the past, mixed in with everything that happened in the Human realm, Sukhāvatī, and the Demon domain. He was all over the place, possessing none of his usual straightforward efficiency. Perhaps he really was drunk.
Many years later, in the depths of the Demon domain, he cried once more, making a decision for a child.
Perhaps the end of the story had already been decided at the very start. The unchanging him made an unchanging decision.
No matter how much he yearned for a hawk’s freedom, he was destined to be an ox, forced to bear a great burden.
“I had to go to Qingqi mountain. I had nowhere else to go…”
The sun rose up gradually. Before he knew it, the table was already filled with dishes. Han Qiongzhi sat before Li Qingshan and listened quietly, listening to these bizarre encounters, listening to these matters of the distant past, listening to the painful choices he made again and again. There were several times when she wanted to stand up and embrace him firmly, but she did not budge in the end. Instead, she clenched her fists and bit her lip as if she was also making a painful choice.
Upon finishing the story, she suddenly picked up the jar of wine and stood up, drinking all of the remaining wine in a single breath before glaring straight at Li Qingshan’s eyes drunkenly. Her expression seemed like she wanted to swallow him whole.
Li Qingshan was startled as well, looking at her in surprise.
“I’m different from Xiao An. No matter what Li Qingshan turns into, there’s no difference to her, but the only person I fell in love with was that unchanging Li Qingshan. Even when I know he’s a great bastard and I understand that it’ll lead to nothing. I’m content with it. I’ve never regretted it at all,” Han Qiongzhi said boldly.
Li Qingshan nodded. “I know.”
“So leave this world! Go die wherever you want to, but don’t return again. If you need anyone’s power, directly summon them. The Li Qingshan I know never looks back!”
Li Qingshan gazed at her deeply. She was like a roaring ball of fire, so bright and dazzling that he struggled to stare directly at her, but in the depths of the flames, within her eyes, it was all Li Qingshan’s figure.
“Everything, as well as me, are shackles to you!”
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Han Qiongzhi pointed at the dishes and pointed at herself. Sadness and reluctance flashed through her eyes, but she swung her hand resolutely, knocking over the entire table full of dishes before turning around and saying with her back to him, “You can go now!”
Li Qingshan gazed at the broken plates and scattered dishes on the ground. She had gone to great effort to make each and every one of them with her own hands, but they were basically untouched. It was all wasted.
Of course, he only needed to budge a finger to turn everything back to how it was, but he did not do that. He only stared at her figure, spending quite a while in a daze before suddenly smiling. “I understand. I’m going.”
Li Qingshan left. He left this world and ended this journey. Since he had chosen this path, he had to continue down it. He could not stop.
Han Qiongzhi stood in the courtyard without budging. Only her shadow tilted and moved, until the sun sank in the west and stars filled the sky. She just spent the day like that. She suddenly raised her head and gazed at the new, scarlet star, pouring all of her thoughts into it.
Outside the world, the humming ruckus continued to tail him like his shadow, without ever relenting, but Li Qingshan suddenly heard a familiar voice, a special wish.
“May the Li Qingshan in her heart never change.”
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