Chapter 61

Chapter 61Book 2 Chapter 9
Daphne’s Point of View
I jolt awake in a cold sweat, and it takes
me a moment to realize where I am. Once the fog of sleep has lifted, I look to make sure that I have not
woken Caleb up. Thankfully, he is still soundly sleeping and was not disturbed by my movement. For a
moment I am jealous that he is able to sleep so soundly when lately I have been consumed by
nightmares. Knowing that I will not be able to find sleep again I carefully remove Caleb’s arm from
around me and slip out of bed.
My wolf was itching to be free, and since no one else was up I decided that going for a nice morning
run would clear my head. I quickly throw on a pair of shorts, and a shirt and grab my shoes as I quietly
walk out of our bedroom door. It does not
take me long to make my way out of the house.
As I start walking towards the woods, I cannot stop my mind from wandering back to my dream.
Somehow in my dream
my parents were still alive. Caleb had
gotten tired of me not producing an heir and was returning me to them. In the dream we had returned
to my former home and Caleb had told my parents that he had made a mistake. My mother in all her
glory was there to snidely remind me that it was only right that my child had died since I had killed her
son. My father was shaking his head in disappointment as he told Caleb that I was anabomination, one that should have been terminated. Even though there was no physical violence in the
dream, I felt as beat up as ever. 2
Recalling the words that my mother had
spoken in the dream; I truly wonder if the
Moon Goddess has decided that I was not
worthy of raising pups. Although I had
once believed that she favored me at least
a little because Caleb was my destined
mate, was that the only happiness that was meant for my life? Could I be happy not being a mother? 1
Finally reaching the edge of the wood line. I forcibly shake my head to dispel my
thoughts. Right now, it is time for my
wolf to run. She deserves to be free and
wild, and I have not been attentive to her
needs lately. I ensure that I am alone
before stripping down and shifting into
my wolf. 1
I feel the burst of excitement as her paws hit the earth beneath her. Taking a long whiff, I enjoy the
clean crisp air up here in the mountains. I start the run out slow, taking long leaps and stretching out mymuscles that have not been used lately.
Soon I feel loose and free and start
dashing deeper into the woods, allowing my wolf to frolic.
Soon I come upon a rock wall and decide. to run along side of it. I giggle internally
as I startle a few rabbits. I can tell that I
am getting dangerously close to the perimeter of my pack.
My wolf stops suddenly, tumbling head
over tail as we unexpectantly come across.
one of the pack warriors. He quickly takes
up an attack stance, and a bit of pride
shoots through me. Using my mind l**k I quickly tell him who I am. The young
warrior is at first shocked, and then
fearful as he was in a stance to attack his
Luna. I reassure him that it is fine, as he profusely apologies to me. I make sure to tell him that I am
proud of his quick reflexes, before turning and bounding
back into the forest. a
This encounter makes me realize that I donot know as much as I thought I did about
the perimeter of our pack region. Although I knew that we had guards and
scouts posted along our borders, I do not
exactly know where our borders are. I
make a mental note to inquire about that
issue with Caleb. As I near the area where
I left my clothes, I snort not looking
forward to what I have resolved to do
today.
I once again make sure that no one else is around before shifting and putting my clothes back on.
Walking back to the house I bask in the early morning glow of
the sun. Despite my duties for today, I am
feeling really good right now.
I promised myself yesterday that I would
call the pack doctor today. I know that I
need to get over losing the pup, not just
for my sake but for Caleb’s as well.Training the peculiar wolves has been a sort of therapeutic relief, but now I worry
that I am doing more harm than good. I
barely see Caleb now. Jogging up the last few steps to the main door, I am resolved that I will call the
pack doctor
immediately.
Entering our room, I can tell that I have just missed Caleb. His scent is still very strong, and there is
evidence that he has just left the shower. My heart aches with missing him. With him in mind I reach for
my cell phone. It dawns on me that I am not sure who to call. I am not sure if I
should call the physician that handled the loss of the pup, or the clinic. I decide to call the clinic. Upon
reaching the
receptionist I quickly explain the reason for my call, and she politely informs me that she is transferring
me to the mental
health clinic.
The next receptionist that I speak with is
very polite, and she asks if I would like a male or female doctor. I explain that I do
not have a preference. She begins to take
my information to get me scheduled, but
when she learns that I am the Luna, she
puts me on hold. It is not too long beforethe phone is picked up by a rather cheery
voice.
“Luna this is Doctor Hollis how are you
feel?”
“Well, I have been having a few issues.
and my sister suggested that I reach out and see if there was anything that might possibly help.” Now
that there was a doctor on the line, I admit that I was
incredibly nervous to admit the issues I
was experiencing.
“I would be more than happy to help you.
I also want you to know that whatever we
discuss will remain between us only, you have full doctor patient privilege.” I felt slightly better after she
stated that. “Now how about we get down to what you are
currently experiencing, so that I will
know how to assist you better.”
“Um so to start with I am having trouble sleeping. I keep having nightmares.” She mumbles I see and
encourages me tocontinue. “I was um pregnant, but um the baby was not alive.” I had not realized that I was crying until I
felt the tear hit
the palm of my hand.
“The loss of a child is truly devastating. I am sorry that you had to endure that.”
There is no hint of malice in her voice. In
fact, it is strangely comforting, almost
motherly.
“Should it be this devastating though? I
never held it, I never even seen the face of
the pup. The doctor literally said it was a
lump of cells. Before this happened, I had
never even thought of having pups.” The words poured out like a leaking faucet.
“Just because you had not thought of being a mother does not lessen the pain of losing the unexpected
pup. You have
every right to mourn that loss. Now that
you have lost the pup, do you desire to be a mother still?”
“Yes.” The word is out before I even thinkabout it. “Caleb and I have never fully discussed having a family, but yes I would
love to have a child.”
“I see. Well, my first exercise for you to complete is to have an honest discussion with your mate about
your desire to have a pup. Although I am not Caleb’s physician, I have seen him interact with the young
children of the pack and I do not believe he would be opposed to the idea. Although I know that an
honest discussion is needed between you two
regarding the matter.” Her words are not unkind, and I know that she is right. I do
need to talk to Caleb.
“I have been avoiding him.” The words. come out barely above a whisper.
“Everyone grieves differently, but I have to say that isolating yourself from your
mate will only lead to more heartbreak. Is
there a particular reason why you have been avoiding Caleb?” I like that she does
not hedge around the problems, instead. choosing to address them outright.
“I feel like I have failed him. Not just failed him but failed the pack. I know that most Alpha’s desire an
heir. I am
supposed to be able to give him an heir. Plus, I know that he would be an amazing father to any pup.”
“You have failed no one Luna.
Miscarriages are common amongst our kind, and humans. It does not mean that you cannot or will not
have other pups. Do not let this tragedy determine your outlook upon yourself. I also feel the needto add that this is the modern world that
we live in Luna. You hold no
responsibility to bless anyone with an
heir.” She laughed a little at the end and I
appreciated her ability to lighten the
mood.
“Thank you for that.”
“There is no need to thank me, Luna. I
am going to prescribe a sleeping medication; we will start you off with a
low dose and will increase it as needed. I
would like to schedule you for another appointment in a week. In the meantime, if you have a bad day
or feel the need to
call me, I will send over my private
number. Now I was serious about giving
you the exercise to work through. You
need to set time aside to have a
discussion with Caleb about how you are.feeling, and how this event has affected
you.”
I thanked Dr. Hollis again while she scheduled my next appointment. Once I was off the phone, I did
feel slightly
better, and I took her words to heart. I
had been avoiding Caleb for far too long. Caleb has never been harsh with me and I
need to be considerate of how this has
affected him as well.
A quick plan formulated in my head involving surprising Caleb with dinner. I jumped off the bed excited
to get into
action. I cannot wait to see his surprise.