Chapter 39

All the blood drains from my body, so I instantly turn cold and my body erupts in goosebumps. ‘‘Your
mother?’’ I blink at him timidly, reminded that with him I should always have a level of fear and never
forget my station. I should get it tattooed somewhere obvious as I have this insane ability to forget.

‘‘Yes, my mother.’’ No elaboration, just a statement and he closes down, which tells me I am getting no
more information at all. He lets me go and I automatically rub my upper arm where his cruel grip has
left the ache of bruising and just watch him as he walks around the lounge like a pacing lion. He seems
more intent on checking our plush surroundings in good old sunny Rich-Ville than arguing this point
anymore, and I am too tired for it anyway.

His house is gorgeous. Huge and yet strangely devoid of anything Alexi. It’s not like his apartment over
the club that reflects his sinister side and masculinity. This seems showy, family orientated like it was
professionally designed to be light, airy and homely, and he just doesn’t fit.

Neither do I, it’s not to my taste and feels a bit like play pretend to be a normal person in this normal
world of housewives and happy lives. Something I will never be.

‘‘I’m leaving you with security and Mico, I’ll be back in a week or two, and I’ll see where I will put you on
a more permanent basis. Gino knows you’re here. He will keep an eye, from a distance. Try not to get
yourself in any trouble and keep your nose clean. This isn’t the city and anything you do here will get
back to me faster than you can blink. I know about your endeavours here before, and will be mighty
pissed should you attempt any sort of a repeat. I’ll still pay you and there will be no need to try and earn
any other way. Oh, and stay well away from my cousin and his girlfriend … I doubt he has forgotten
you.’’ He’s going on at me but all I heard was Mico!

Mico is his shadow and head of his security; he goes everywhere Alexi goes, constantly. He trusts him
like no other and it’s rare you ever see one without the other. I don’t like the fact he’s leaving him with



me. Obviously has zero trust that I won’t try and seduce his security or maybe make a run for it, but
he’s leaving himself open without Mico by his side.

Who knows what kind of danger that will leave him in? I can almost taste my panic rising inside, and
just keep gawping at him like he’s out of his mind. Mico doesn’t seem surprised or well, anything really.
He has that same Carrero deadpan skill of not reacting, and could be Alexi’s brother if you go by looks
and mannerisms. He has the same tall dark handsome Italian genes and weirdly green eyes, the same
overall death by glare and oozing intimidation.

I never knew Italians with olive skin could have green eyes but it’s not as pretty or as soulless as the
pale grey of a wolf. Mico is a typical Hollywood gangster movie henchman in a dark suit and black
overcoat. Silent, obedient and all seeing. He doesn’t strike me as dumb either and has that same
clever sadism about him that Alexi just effortlessly oozes from every pore. Only Mico is not as dominant
and out there as Mr Mafia Boss is, and tends to be the silent intimidation in the room and only does as
he is told.

‘‘Camilla?’’ Alexi snaps at me and brings my attention back to him with an edge of anger, and I realise
it’s probably because I haven’t responded and was glancing at his sidekick in evaluation. Probably
thinks I am checking him out and wondering what getting him naked would look like, I mean he’s not
exactly ugly … but he’s not Alexi.

‘’What?’’ I blurt in jumpy reaction, he still has an ability to make me flinch and instinctively respond.

‘’Do you understand?’’ He says it so slowly, like he’s talking to a child, as much as I want to roll my
eyes and sigh at him I just nod politely and give him my all-purpose quick smile of agreement.

‘’Yes, sir!’’

‘‘That better not be sarcasm!’’ He grits teeth at me and I can see he is in no mood today.



‘‘Oh just fuck off Alexi, I will do as I am told. I will have your bodyguard flanking my every move anyway,
so it’s not like I can do anything other than what you say. He looks more than capable of enforcing your
demands. You can leave now.’’ Sassy is back in play even if it’s more agitation fuelled, and as much as
I don’t really want him to leave, he’s pissing me off.

‘’Nice try. I have plans here for the next few hours then we can have dinner and I’ll go back to the city.’’
He dismisses me with an eyebrow flick and picks up mail on the side unit, flicking through distractedly.

What?

‘’Dinner? Like a date?’’ I honest to God blanch at him in disbelief, and he just frowns like I am
completely stupid.

‘’No, not like a date. Dinner … I need an escort, I have business here. Wear something conservative,
sexy underwear, high shoes and hair down.’’ He nods like I am a puppy getting a command to heal and
this is an everyday request.

My eyes are probably as wide as saucers as that inner rage sparks back up. ‘‘I told you to stop doing
that. One, I can dress myself—I manage daily with quite a level of success and as you check me out
when you think I am not looking, it’s obviously a skill. Secondly, I assume the underwear is for your
benefit and I wasn’t aware I was now one of your fuck buddies whenever you feel like it. Possessions, I
assumed, had some say over when, where and how, if I ever let you touch me again. And thirdly, oh
yes I have a third … Stop telling me how to wear my hair it grows from my fucking head, therefore it’s
mine and I know how best to wear it.’’ That would be hormonal rage button pressed and put into play.
And his response is to look completely amused as though I am having a mere tantrum over something
mundane and not his overbearing ever-present control issues.

Arghhhhhh!

‘‘Do I have to remind you of what happens anytime you defy me?’’



I actually hate him. He just switches on intimidation at every turn and makes me melt into my own
shoes and back down with one icy tone. I am so sick of it, but he knows it works and therefore he uses
it. Like a dog whistle to a misbehaving hound and I realise maybe Gino is right, I do need to stand up to
the tosser when he plays this card.

‘’I’ll pick my clothes!’’ I stamp my foot childishly, straightening my bloody metaphoric crown. Pushing
that tingling of apprehension away, and staking a claim in my own goddamn life!

‘‘Underwear? My choice because you won’t be seeing them, so it doesn’t affect you if I go in my full
birthday suit or my granny backup knickers.’’ I lift one finger and stroke it off dramatically, staring him
straight in the eye as he towers over me effortlessly.

‘’Hair, shoes and makeup … however I feel, and whatever mood strikes me.’’ I strike off three more
fingers, glaring at him with furrowed brows and oozing attitude, waving my hands around like a crazed
weirdo.

‘’You? … I don’t care. I can take you or leave you any day of the week and makes no difference to me
at all.’’ Fifth finger that I prod mid-air before lifting my other hand to carry on the list of things he will not
dictate to me. ‘’Dinner? Well if you asked me nicely then I would probably agree as I have a long
tedious stretch in the Boredoms to get through, and it might be nice to have a little fun, plus I’m hungry
and do not see a cook lingering in the shadows to rummage me up anything five star and have no
desire to sweat in your kitchen either.’’ Alexi looks mildly unamused but I carry right on.

‘’And finally, Escort services? Unlikely, so don’t hold your breath! This lady of the night hung up her
crotch-less knickers a long time ago and you could never afford my current fee to get me out of
retirement. Face it Carrero … I am above your pay grade.’’ I am standing my ground, even if I am
shaking on it. Alexi locks eyes on me in a silent battle and I catch the slight shift of suits in the room,



making a swift exit, which makes my heart sink. Bravado waning because I have no idea why his own
men would walk out when one of his playthings dares to stand up to him.

I know he won’t hit me; that much I am confident in nowadays. I just have no idea what he is going to
do. Sometimes he just ignores my show of fierce; other times he ties me to torture devices in dark
rooms and destroys me with so very little effort.

His own blood and shadows making a swift depart just tells me that his soulless demon side is about to
make a grand entrance. He leans in close, terrifyingly so, and almost touches his nose to mine in a
wholly intimidating way. A hand trailing my face almost delicately, sending shivers and ripples of
something through my core as he puts the fear of God in me in the worst kind of way.

‘‘Disobedience never bodes well for you, London. As for me and sex … you can bet on it. Making
stands, acting like you don’t want it, but I can read you better than you think and every single pore on
your body is screaming for me to touch you.’’ He leans closer and I swear I hold my breath in
anticipation, despite every single part of me wanting so badly to tell him to go jump off a bridge; my
traitorous pelvis quivering with proximity to his, and I can’t keep my eyes from straying to his mouth
while my body vibrates with the intimacy of how close he’s gotten.

I jump when he runs his thumb over my lips and tilts my head up to him with a finger under my chin, so
I almost graze his mouth. I want him to kiss me, even while being terrified of his every move.

Jesus, I am pathetic as shit and so fucked up.

‘‘I can smell the desperation.’’ Alexi drops my face and moves me back in one harsh fluid movement
with one finger on my chest that feels like a stinging slap to my pride.

Letting him fuck me was the single dumbest thing I ever did, and we both know it. He has another
edge, and true to personality, he intends to exploit its power over me. I can say no until the cows come



home, but even I know the second he throws seduction my way I will fold and my fate will be inevitable.
All he has to do is kiss me and I'll be putty in his hands.

Alexi is like a drug. You despise what it does to you, you hate yourself for needing it, and you know it
will destroy your life and turn you into something you don’t recognise anymore. Yet when it’s within
grasp you will give your soul to be possessed by it all over again.

I am completely screwed.


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