Chapter 64

My whole persona is a lie that ingrained itself inside of me through repetitive use. I created this girl and
buried Lisa—she and my battered emotions are a thing of the past.

‘’Do you need anything? I can make you a drink or food.’’ The girl is watching me far too closely, even
though I still feel weak and clammy, I don’t want her here and fussing. I have never been good at letting
people take care of me and especially not someone who isn’t medical staff. No one cared before, so
this is a new experience and I feel completely uncomfortable with her probing presence.

‘’I need space and privacy. I want to get up, shower and make some tea. I appreciate what you all did
but really, I just want quiet time to vegetate.’’ I sound completely ungrateful and I know it. Mico didn’t
need to tend to me. Alexi … I don’t even know where to begin. I just know as soon as I am well he will
dump me on a flight to Chicago and be done with me, that is what he planned. I want to get better on
my own, and mentally get used to the idea that I am being shipped off to a place I do not want to go
back to.

‘‘I understand that.’’ She looks disappointed, weirdly. Mico has left an arsenal of meds by my bed. I
vaguely remember him putting them there and whatever Doctor Wilson injected me with has pushed
this sickness out the window, so I am good to go and on the mend. I no longer need a nursemaid and I
do not want one.

‘’Do you know what the doctor gave me?’’ I query, almost sure Mico wouldn’t let some unqualified
quack at me, even if Alexi would. It’s not like I haven’t put a lot of toxic shit in my body in the past, but I
am always wary knowing my mother was an addict and I probably have an addictive personality too. I
just like to keep track of these things.

‘‘Antibiotics mostly. A high dose to kick whatever it was out of your system and some meds to bring
your fever down. He couldn’t give you anything orally, so he went for injection and Alexi said to go for it.
Is he your guardian?’’



Again, with the naïve blinking, questioning all his motives and decisions like she doesn’t know what a
huge control freak he is and I just shrug.

‘’Technically, I guess.’’ Seeing as he owns my soul. Thinks he does anyway.

‘’I figured you were close. I think it’s cute to finally see him care about a girl. He always dates women
he doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about.’’ She’s smiling oddly, full dimples and fluttering eyelashes
and it just irritates me.

Okay girly, enough of the chit-chat, you have no clue what you are talking about and I have no desire to
do this anymore. Mildly getting annoyed and impatient with her hanging around me and that just stirs
up my bitch side. I heave a heavy sigh to give her the final hint. ‘‘I think I will take a bath, a long soak in
the tub. Feel free to leave, I’m a capable swimmer and I’m feeling much better, so I doubt I will pass out
and drown.’’ I make to move and ignore that look of complete rejection on her face. Confused why a
young teen would want to hang around me. I don’t even like people and especially not little girls with
overly cute personalities and ridiculous ideas about men.

I need space, quiet and food in that order and a plan about what I am going to do about getting out of
being packed off to Chicago.

I wander out of the bedroom feeling refreshed, robed and a tad pink from my bath and DIY beauty
treatments for the last hour. Figuring if I pampered the crap out of myself I would both feel better
physically, look a hell of a lot better and it would drag my mind from the ever-obsessive head mess that
is Alexi Carrero. I feel calmer, more focused and determined to not let that man have a long-term effect
on me, yet I’m still sombre.

Yawning, still fatigued as I wander aimlessly into the almost silent surroundings and realise I am still not
alone. She never left and she is stretched out on the couch watching Netflix on low volume while
flicking through a magazine.



I sigh heavily and make a beeline for the open plan kitchen in a bid to ignore her and curse her for not
fucking off when I made it clear that is what I wanted. I jump when her phone vibrates harshly across
the glass coffee table and she flashes a smile my way as our eyes connect when she goes to catch it.
Spotting me and acting like she is not imposing on my space at all in any way. I roll my eyes, leaving
her to her call and turn to the fridge in a bid to find food that requires no cooking. I am not really in the
mood for stove tops and fussing. I just want to eat and go lie back down in bed and vegetate with a
book.

I am focusing on some relaxation and drowning out my woes for a few hours. The best way to move on
is to put HIM out of my head anytime he pops in there.

‘’Hey you, Uhuuuh, all better and wandering around in a very unsexy bathrobe,’’ she declares loudly
after a moment of listening to whoever is on the other end. I assume it is Mico, and he will be relieving
her if I have anything to do with it. I cast a sharp glance and yank the refrigerator open to scan the
contents, finding cured ham, cheese and salad for a sandwich and start putting it all out in front of me
on the counter. I lean into the open door letting the cool interior fan my face for a moment as I reach for
a jar of mayo. I’m still running a mild temperature and enjoying the cool air and jump when I come out
to see the little perky girl right at my side.

‘‘Yep she’s right here, hold on.’’ She extends the phone to me with a grin and I frown back at her. I
guess Mico isn’t convinced I am not dead and at least I can tell him to remove his warden if I get to talk
to him. I nudge her back with my bum and dump my new finds on the surface beside the bread. I shove
the phone under my chin, bumping the door shut with my hip and rummage for a knife in the drawer to
add to my array of sandwich constructing ingredients with eyes on the task.

‘’It’s Camilla, you can call off your little watchdog now I am upright and managing to fend for myself.’’ I
answer brightly as in way of a hello, determined that he will be sending puppy eyes home as soon as I
am done.



‘’You sound better anyway.’’ The raspy, deep huskiness of a voice that is not Mico makes my stomach
flip over and my heart jump into my mouth. He was not who I was expecting to hear, especially not with
how she was talking to him. That voice and its unearthly ability to fuck me up so easily … so much for
clearing my head of this ever present and looming darkness.

It’s like he senses anytime I start pulling away and set my brain on letting go and jumps up to keep a
hold.

‘’Alexi? I thought it was Mico.’’ I state the stupid obvious, flustered and at a loss for words when caught
unawares, not sure what to say or how to act now he’s the one on the other end of the line. There’s a
long awkward pause and I swear I can almost feel the tension thickening the air around me making it
harder to breathe. Despite the confusing events of the last few days, he still has a physical effect with
just his voice.

‘’Look …’’ Alexi clears his throat and trails off into silence again for a moment and I just halt every fibre
in my body and wait, like a dumb pathetic woman, for the man to say something else to me. Poised on
a precipice that maybe he might have had some sort of personality transplant overnight. ‘’Last night …’’
He trails off again and I swear he is doing it to torture me, it’s almost unbearable waiting for him to say
whatever it is he is going to say.

‘’What about last night?’’ I butt in, in frustration, snappy with nerves and jump when the apartment door
swings open and Mico comes striding in across the room, lugging grocery bags and a smile. He looks
over at me with genuine relief that I am upright and lucid and then grins at my immature babysitter, who
is back on the couch pretending like she is not listening to me. I turn my back on both of them and
cradle the phone closer to my ear, annoyed that they interrupted whatever it was he was going to say.

 


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