chapter 50

As we head up to his house, it's just like before. Nothing has changed. All the people gawking at me
and whispering. What they all must think, but I don't care. The compassion that I've had most of my life
is gone. I figure it's better to feel nothing than to feel anything.

In the distance I see a little boy running to me, as my eyes clear I see it's Jayden. He has done nothing
wrong, but I'm afraid to show weakness. Knowing Jayden is probably the biggest weakness I have
even though everything that has happened is not his fault he is innocent, So why would I not
acknowledge him? He is the little shine of light that is in my darkness. I squat down as he runs into my
arms, I hug him as tight as I can and pick him up. “Lilly, I have missed you so much, I'm so happy that
you are okay.”

Then the words come out of my month without me realizing, “Oh Jayden, I have missed you so much
too.”

As I'm gripping on to him tighter, I watch as a woman walks towards us. “Now Jayden, you know that
you can't run off like that.”

As she goes to take him out of my arms, “what do you think you're doing, get your fucking hands off of
him.”

“Excuse me,” she says to me as she looks at Ivan with an irritated look. That I just want to smack off of
her fucking face. I just pretend that she and Ivan aren't there and give all my attention to Jayden.

He then whispers in my ear, “Lilly, she's not very nice. She makes me do things that I don't want to do,
but daddy says I have to listen to her.”

As anger overcomes me, I then hear Jaydens sweet little voice which helps me to calm myself. “Lilly,
your eyes have changed color, they are so beautiful.”



I feel so much power running through my veins, I do not know what to do with all of it. I try to calm
myself as I look at Jayden. It helps me I can feel my body relax as I look at him. He smiles, “Yes my
eyes change color isn't that cool.”

He giggles at me as I begin to tickle his belly “Lilly, stop please Lilly,” As I continue to tickle him.

Ivan then comes towards us to try to tare us apart. I give him a threatening stare to warn him not to
come any farther toward us. I watch as he backs away, surprised that he seemed frightened.

Ivan then gives an irritated look and says, “Lilly, it's time to go.”

I don't want to put Jayden down. I have missed him so much. “Jayden, I have to go for now, but we will
get together and play very soon I promise.”

He grabs and holds on to me tighter, “Lilly, you promise you will come and play with me.”

“Yes Jayden, I promise cross my heart.” I then kiss his cheek and put him down.

“I love you, Lilly.”

Tears fill my eyes. “I love you too, Jayden.”

When I walk away, I can see Ivan's expression on his face. He is angry. Not understanding how he
could be so angry with a child because of him loving me. Or maybe it's actually me loving him that
angers him the most. Jayden has touched me somewhere in my heart that I feel for him. I know that he
will be my weakness, but I always want to protect him. I just hope when it comes time to leave that I'm
going to be able to leave him.

As Ivan then grabs a hold of my arm and goes to shove me along, I take my arm out of his grip. “I know
how to walk. You don't have to force Me Too! I am following you, aren't I.”



I can see his eyes flash of red, knowing what I said has upset him. I'm not sure what is going to happen
or what he is going to make me do. I don't want him to touch me and I don't want to touch him. I don't
want to play these games, but I'm not sure if there is another way. I was all for hurting him, but now I'm
not Sure if I have it in me.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me, when I'm angry all I crave is revenge. But when I'm not, all I want is
to help and make people feel better. Now it's like I want to heal Ivan from all his pain that he has
suffered. But what about the pain that he has made me suffer? I cringe, looking at him with any kind of
emotion, so why do I suddenly want to help or make him feel any kind of love?

As we were walking, I didn't realize that Ivan was speaking to me. I was lost in my thoughts and I did
not realize he was talking. I snap out of it once I feel another slap across my face. I look at him with
disappointment, not understanding why he thinks he needs to be so rough. “Really Lilly, you are
ignoring me. You are able to talk to that boy, but you will not speak a word to me, your mate.”

I look at him with frustration “what do you want me to say Ivan you have taken everything from me.
What Could I possibly want to say to you.”?

“I was angry you were pregnant, you have been sleeping with other wolves and I needed to mark you,
so they knew you belonged to me.”

“Ivan, what you did was evil, you're a heartless bastard.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn't of opened your legs to anybody that would fuck you, so who the hell knows
who the father was.”

I go to walk away from him, he then grabs a hold of my arm and pulls me roughly against his chest.
“Where do you think you're going?”



“Anywhere that you are not, Ivan, I don't want a mate that is going to try to control my every move.”

“Well, I'm sorry about your luck, you're not going anywhere.”

As he drags me along up the stairs to the house, my legs hitting the cement, I Yelp in pain. But it
doesn't stop him from dragging me along. As he then forces the door open as he throws my body
through the doorway like I'm a rag doll. I hit the ground as my head hit against the wall. I began to feel
dizzy.

“What the fuck Ivan, you didn't have to throw me inside the door.”

“Well, if I had a mate that was obedient, I wouldn't have to be so rough.”

“Obedient, are you fucking kidding me, if I had a mate that wasn't a monster, then maybe I would love
him.”

“I don't need your love, Lily, all I need is your body.”

As he starts coming towards me, I get up from the floor. Before I can go to run, he grabs me by my hair.
He then swings me backward into his chest and puts his arms around me and holds on to me tight. I
get angry As I slammed the back of my head against his face. I hear him scream out in pain as blood is
running down his face,” you fucking bitch you're going to pay for that Lilly."

As I dart for the door to run out of this place, all I can think about is Jayden and the promise I made to
him. I don't want to break it, but I can't stay here. I pay for hesitating to run. As I feel his grip in my hair
pulling me back once again. But this time it was only to throw me to the ground. As he starts kicking
me, I can feel my bones breaking. The pain is radiating through my body with each kick I try not to
show weakness, so I stay silent. I can tell that this angers him as his kicks become harder. I should feel
defeated, but I don't. I feel strong. Uncertain why I feel this way because eventually the pain takes over
my body and I black out.






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