Chapter 33: Why are you here

We had remained silent on the drive to the apartment building and now as he walked with me to my
apartment, my entire body tensed wondering if he would insist on coming inside and if he decided to do
so I'd have another fight in my hands, I couldn't let him come and find Anna.

But fortunately for me, he just stood there and watched me unlock the door, not trying to follow me in.

He stopped me when I tried to close the door and held out the scrunched up napkin.

At first, I looked at it trying to understand what he was doing and then I remembered the toy he had
wrapped in it.

"I want you to be able to slide this in your pussy when I demand it."

I stared at him and gritted, "You are insane."

He smirked.

"Maybe."

Stepping closer, he caressed my cheek and said, "But you enjoyed my insanity, did you not?"

When I remained silent, he lifted my hand and pressed the toy in my palm.

He said, "Don't answer that, but know that I can still smell you on my fingers."

I sucked in a breath, stepped back and closed the door in his face.

I heard his deep chuckle as he said, "Good night, little girl.

I'm sure you'd have a nice, long sleep."



Curling my fingers into fists, I turned around from the door, took a deep breath and made my way
toward my bedroom.

I needed a shower and a change of clothes.

When I entered the bedroom, I found my little angel curled into herself and looking so adorable.

A pang hit my heart as I knew she wasn't used to sleeping without me.

I quickly made my way toward the bathroom and didn't waste any time as I tossed the toy near the
basin and got undressed.

It took me ten minutes to come out of the bathroom after taking shower and making sure that the toy
was out of sight from the curious mind of my little daughter.

She could be persistent when she wants to be and I didn't want to explain to her what that little toy was
for.

I climbed on the bed behind my baby girl and curled an arm around her.

"Mama?"

She asked in a sleepy voice.

"Yes, angel.

Mama is here, go back to sleep."

I pressed a kiss on her head and sighed, my shoulders relaxing as her sweet scent filtered through my
nose.

My little girl was my home, the only thing that gave me comfort.



And I would do anything for her, just like I had done in the past.

I wasn't lying when I had told Kristian that I could never forget about what I had done, how could I,
when every time I look at my daughter I see her father.

The next morning came too soon, or maybe it was my daughter who woke up at the crack of dawn and
decided to launch an attack at me.

"Mama! Mama! Wake up!"

Small hands grabbed my face and soft lips kissed my forehead, nose and lips in feather light caresses.

"Angel… It's too early.

Come sleep."

I blindly grabbed at her and pulled her into me.

She giggled and said, "No, Mama.

It's not early there are people down there!"

She sat up in the bed and pulled at my hand.

"Come see!"

Reluctantly, yawning and blinking the sleep from my eyes I let my daughter pull me out of the bedroom.

She took me straight to the floor to ceiling windows and pointed down at the pool down there which
was big enough that it was clear from our floor but the people in it looked tiny and Anna was excited to
point out everything to me.



"See, there is a children's park too!"

And sure enough there was.

In fact, it looked like there was a small town at the back of the building.

The perimeter was surrounded with shops that were closed at this time of the morning, but some things
were available for the residents like the swimming pool, children's park, gym and other side of the park
where some people were doing yoga if I wasn't mistaken.

"Can we go down there, Mama?"

I looked down at my baby.

"Please.

Pretty please…"

She asked with her grey eyes soft and imploring.

1 I looked behind her to the digital clock on the wall.

It was not even six yet.

"I guess…."

I started, but I really wanted to sleep more.

And my daughter hugged me tight.

"Yes! Yes!"



I shook my head, giving in, knowing I couldn't not hold back something that would make my little angel
happy.

"Come on, then.

We must change our clothes and brush our teeth."

She narrowed her eyes at me and asked, "And?"

I crouched down and plucked at her nose.

"And you must have a glass of milk, if you want to go downstairs."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"I knew it."

"That's you are the smartest of all!"

I picked her up making our way to the bedroom.

Half an hour later we were in the elevator that took us to the ground floor, from there we didn't even
have to go to the front reception area as there was a corridor leading to the two huge doors that
opened for the back of the building.

Two guards were standing there who asked for my name and apartment number and checked it with
the front desk before they allowed us to pass.

"I am sorry, Ma'am.

It's just a protocol with a new face."



I smiled at the man and nodded.

"It's fine."

Beside me Anna was getting impatient as she jumped from one foot to another.

And once we were out, she dragged me with her to the children's park.

"Swings! We must go to the swings, Mama!"

"If we must…"

I laughed, trying to catch up with her hurried footsteps as I was still half asleep.

I didn't realize how much time passed as I was lost in the happiness that sparkled in my daughter's
eyes, making me realise how much she had missed the little things that were important for every
growing child and bringing me to the verge of breakdown because I was responsible for not giving her
everything she deserved.

I was sitting on a bench at the edge of the park while she played with the two girls she had made
friends with, when someone came to sit beside me.

I turned to see who the person was and froze when I met dark grey eyes.

1 My heart stopped for a second and then galloped like a crazy horse out of control.

No.

No.

No! "You…"



I gasped, the word came out in a horrified whisper.

My eyes went back to the three girls that were playing together, one of them my daughter and then
came back to him.

"Kristian… What are what are you doing here?"

He frowned down at me, looking at me like I was crazy.

I felt like I was going to be soon enough.

I stood up suddenly, hyperventilating, and he did too.

"You can't be here!"

I hissed at him.

2 "Why?"

He questioned.

"You look like you have seen a ghost…"

I wasn't listening to him.

I was looking for a way to get out of this situation.

If my daughter came to me just now… She was a curious one.

She would want to know who this man was and then he would realise who she was.

He just has to look at her and hear her call me Mama.



Then, he would take her away from me.

He would punish me, hurt me in the most cruellest way.

"Elsa? Elsa?"

Kristian sounded alarmed.

But I didn't care.

I had to get him away from my daughter.

I turned away from him, my feet carried me out of the park and away from him and my daughter.

He should not be near my daughter.

She was the only thing precious I have left.

She was everything I lived for.

I can't lose her.

Oh, god, please.

Please, help me.

Strong fingers curled around my arm and he pulled me against him with a jerk.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

He snapped at me.



I tried to jerk out of his hold.

I tried to push him away but he was too strong.

He pulled me behind a long palm tree and crowded me against its trunk.

"Calm the fuck down!"

He gripped my chin and pulled my head back so I would meet his eyes.

"What is wrong?"

I blinked at him and a single tear slid down my cheek.

He brushed it away with his thumb and demanded, "Breathe.

Just fucking take a long, deep breath."

I did.

Closed my eyes and took a deep inhale.

"Hush, now…"

His thumb caressed my cheek in soft caresses.

After a long minute, when I could think straight I opened my eyes and met his soft greys.

He looked like the Kristian who had loved me under the stars.

And all I wanted to do was cry, but then he asked, "What happened?"

2 I swallowed and shook my head.



"Nothing."

"You are lying.

You behaved like you were having a panic attack and like you were afraid of something."

"Yes!"

I'slammed my palms against him.

"I am afraid of you.

Isn't it obvious, I do not want to do anything with you.

We had an arrangement but you can't just stalk me like this.

You can't be everywhere I am!"

I grabbed his collar and demanded, "Why are you always around me? Why are you here?"

In an instant his grey eyes turned cold and hard, and he clenched his jaw.

"And here I thought, you might be in some trouble.".

"If I were, I know not to ask for help from you.

You would be the last person to help me."

I hissed at him.

He carefully unclenched my fingers from his t-shirt and took a step back and finally I noticed that he
was in a white tee and grey joggers.



"You are right, I would be the last person to help you out."

He slammed his hand down on the tree beside my head and I flinched.

"And you know the reason for that, don't you, Elsa? You were there, looking into my eyes when you
opened your whore mouth to condemn me for the sin I didn't commit."

2 I closed my eyes, more tears escaping down my cheeks.

His strong fingers wrapped around my throat but he didn't squeeze as he said, "Open those eyes, let
me see those tears.

I have earned them, I have every right to relish them."

My eyes flickered open and he bared his teeth as he gritted out, "You look so beautiful with guilt and
pain written on your face with misery in your eyes…"

He leaned down and his voice softened but his words remained cruel, "It's wonder how a betrayal can
turn the pure and innocent feelings into the dark hate that I feel for you."

He wiped my tears then and said, "Save them for later.

It's just the beginning."

He turned around to walk away.

"Kristian—"

He stopped.

I swallowed the apology because I knew it wouldn't mean anything to him, not when I deliberately
rejected the soft way he was just talking to me, trying to give me comfort.



"What were you doing here?"

He turned to face me then, and a smirk lifted his lips up as he replied, "I live here, Elsa.I own this
building."


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