Chapter 44: Maybe, you should

Kristian

"Jenkins will meet you downstairs and drive you to the office." I hit send on the text and slipped my
phone in my pocket as I picked up my coffee and drank the bitter burning liquid.

Last night, I had slipped a little.

Like a drunk fool, begging for her presence I had gone to her and brought her here.

And even though she hadn't been here for that long, I felt like she should be.

It was fucking pathetic considering she disappeared somewhere in the middle of the night without
telling me.I didn’t know why I thought it would be better to take out my bottled up anger on her, that I
will get a sense of peace after taking my revenge from her for what she did.

Maybe I should stop before it's too late, before I lose myself in her and get addicted again.

Maybe I should end this here and now, and let her go.I should give her back her job in the file room and
get rid of her once and for all before she consumes me like she did in the past.

There was something about her big blue eyes that sucks you in and she makes you go crazy with an
intense need to have her.

My phone pinged from an incoming text.I pulled it out and saw a text from my brother.

"You are still coming, right?"

"Of course, I am."

I put my phone on the kitchen counter and made my way to my bedroom upstairs.I swear I could smell
her still and for that alone I wanted to rip the sheets off and throw them out, but a part of me wanted to



sleep in those same sheets when I came back tonight in my empty apartment.

Half an hour later I was on the road in my new Buggati driving through the crowds of New York and
exiting the city in favor of the countryside with small towns.

Three hours later I entered one of those small towns in which I had spent my childhood.

Black Mountain came into view, the streets, the shops and the houses all too familiar.

And with it came the haunting memories that outweighed the good ones.I sped through the narrow
roads leaving the main town behind and into the part that was lined with forest.

Slowing down, I pulled up outside the cemetery.

Taking a deep breath, I picked up the two red roses from the console.I opened my door and stepped
out of the comfort of my car.

With every step I took a familiar vice gripped my chest and taking a deep breath in became something
that I couldn't do.I opened the small iron door and walked inside.

The green grass, the colorful flowers around the grave could never hide the pain that resided in these
grounds.

Everyone here was someone's father, mother and child.

A sibling.

A friend or a spouse.

It was fucking gutting to think that all of these people were only distinguished by the name on_ their
headstone and two of them bore my last name.



My parents.

There were flowers on each of their graves, orchids on my father’s and lilies for mother, which meant
my brother was already here.

I placed the two long stemmed roses I brought with me and closed my eyes as I brought an age old
faded picture of them together and happy from my mind to relive once again.

I touched her headstone and felt the weight of the promise I had made her when I was losing her.I
gritted my teeth against the rush of emotions and let out a shaky breath.

The slight shuffle of footsteps reached my ears and I stood up to face my brother.

When I turned around I found Kristoff slightly limping as he walked toward me.I gestured at his right leg
and asked, "The leg troubling you?"

Kristoff shrugged a shoulder, still carrying the baby face of his teenage years, he looked boyish.He
rubbed his knee as he said, "It’s the weather and I haven't had my last appointment with the
physiotherapist."

"Why?" I frowned at him as I looked him over, trying to see if there was something I was missing.

He looked well enough, but I wouldn't put it aside if he was hiding something from me.There was
always that problem with him, he was always running away from anything that bothered him.

"It’s nothing, I just forgot.I was busy." He answered.

"Busy, doing what?"

He gave me a smile as he said, "Kathy was in town."

I shook my head as I walked beside him.



"Is she not coming back here?"

Kathy was his long time girlfriend and even though she had lived here, she had opted to go to New
York for her college.I just didn't want him to be heartbroken when she finds someone else out there
while my brother remains here in this small town.

It was his time to shake his head as he said, "She still had eight months before her college is finished."

"Then, why don't you come to New York and be with her.I will get to see you more often."

"I like it here."

He paused and touched my arm as he said, "Maybe, you should come back.I know you can't be happy
there all alone."

I clenched my jaw and looked at the big estate and the house in the middle that was visible from where
we stood at the periphery of the cemetery.When I didn't say anything he asked, "Did you look for her?"

"No." I lied.

Every time we meet Kristoff asks me to look for her and the answers that he thinks would take away my
pain.

And now when I had found her, she literally appeared in front of me out of nowhere, I couldn't bring
myself to listen to her for the fear of her lies and also what if the truth wasn't something that I wanted to
hear.

"Maybe, you should." The slight emotion in his voice had me looking at him.

He said, "I had a dream a few days ago.It was weird, Kristian..."



My brother didn't remember much of the few days that had changed all our lives more than five years
ago.

There were only figments of memories that he had told me which made no sense without the whole
picture.It was like his mind had erased the memory or blocked it because of the trauma of it all.

"What was it?"

"It was the same...The pain...And," He swallowed, his hand going to the back of his head.

"This time, she was there...Afraid and crying.I think Elsa is the only one who can tell us what
happened."

"But she wasn't at the estate when it happened? Was she?" I asked, remembering how I had found the
cottage.

Everything was messed up and she had taken my warning and fled.Kristoff shook his head, a frustrated
look crossed his face.

"I don't remember.I tried but then..." I squeezed his shoulder.

"It's okay.You don't have to try.What happened, happened and now we can't do anything about it."

"I think you should find her still, talk to her.I can tell you still miss her.Elsa was the only one who made
you smile."

"She was the one who took away everything too." I said and to change the topic, I asked, "Do you want
me to drop you at the house?"

"No.I'll walk.I haven't had my daily exercise." I pulled him into a hug.

"Take care."



"I will." He replied and walked away.

I watched for a minute as he slowly made his way out of the cemetery and on the upward narrow road
that led to Aaron Estate.I turned away from it.

It fucking haunted me.And especially when I hadn't fulfilled my promise to my mother.I haven't found
her killer yet even though I have several sources out there searching for that bastard.


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