Chapter 98: I Want To Hate

Please Read My Note After this??

I smile through our training and I'm happy that we're back to okay. Him taking me in his office was hot.

Afterwards, I was to head up to our room when I felt something missing. Yes I might have drop my
bracelet. So I went into his office to look for it.

I look everywhere on the couch then remembering that we did the deeds on his desk before we move
to couch I went and look under the files.

I couldn't find it and I was to walk when I saw a letter on the floor. I pick it up to put on his desk.

In fact, I stopped when it accidentally open and I saw my dad's signature.

I was to put it there but I was too curious to know what my dad wrote in this letter.

So I took it out again and sat on his chair to read it.

I stagger back after reading the letter "this can't be it," I mutter to myself and then I turn it over and read
it once more.

"This couldn't be it, why did my father have to do that?" my tears escape my eyes and put the letter
back neatly on his desktop.

My dad in his letter has apologize for not being able to be here to help him tell me the truth.

The truth which I wish I knew but no I don't at the moment. Yet what's even more shocking was him
saying to extend his apologies to me for compelling me to forget about everything.

Wow! now I know I didn't lose my memories on purpose.



"Unbelievable"

I exclaimed in disbelief and Alera just remain silent without saying anything.

Not to be suspicious I link Matteo that I am going out to the mall. Instead of there I made my way to my
grandma's house.

I made it there within 10 minutes and once she saw me with Wesley in her arms she jump with
happiness.

She put Wesley on the living room floor to play with his toys and came up to hug me tightly.

"Grandma, we need to talk and this time I want to know the truth," she frown at me before realization hit
her and her eyes widen.

"Addasah" she moves and I nod my head no to her refusing to cry and be comfort by her until I know
the truth completely.

My grandma ignores it and hug me then guided me on the couch. I look at Wes for a moment before
looking back to my grandma who nervously squeeze my hand.

We sat there for almost an hour and afterward I instantly stood up from the couch.

"I need time grandma" I told her and about to bust out of the house when her words stopped me.

"I'll call Alpha Matteo"

I swirl around "please don't" she turns to me and I run to hug her.

"I need time nana and I want him to tell me not you to tell him that I know" I pull back and rush out of
the door.



I didn't bother to use my car to go back as my legs started to run out of there. I did not even bother to
stop or think for a second to any dangerous as my mind was replaying my grandma's words over and
over again.

Yet the more my legs speed up the more I see flashback of my past.

All the hateful things he did to me. I remember them all now and the way he used me disgust me the
most and it has broke me deeply.

Remembering his empty promises when he announced Quinn as his Luna at the night of the ball. I
started to tear up.

I was horrified when the memories of my mother's wolf push me out of the way saving me from a feral
wolf.

It's my fault that she died that night.

Instead of going straight to the pack house I run towards the Pack's cemetery where my parents are
buried.

The thunders rumbles with light rain blew by the wind until it is heavily pour down but I didn't care as I
run there on my barefoot.

I scream when I made there in front of them. Kneeling down before their headstone and I cry out why to
them.

Begging them why did they have to do it. Why my mom never told me anything about my family before
and why my father would do that to me.

I wanted to hate them so bad yet in the end I couldn't because they not only did it for my safety but also
give up their life for me.



My parents can never be blame they had given me everything, and even my mom warn me but I was
so stupid to fall in love.

In realising that I shouldn't be hating them. I cry out even more and apologize to them for being a weak,
worthless and stupid daughter.

"Addasah"

I close my eyes gripping the grass when I hear his voice.

"Addasah"

I heard again and I closed my eyes tightly biting my lip so hard that I could taste my own blood.

My hands digging more into the soil drawing mud in my nails.

I wanted to hate him too so much and I was ready to hurt him and push him away after discovering the
truth but I know I needed him for now just to erase the pain today.

Wiping off my tears with the back of my hands I take a deep breathe to hide my anger and pain.

So when he calls my name for the third time I got on my feet and turn to him. Indeed, instead of
showing him that I hated him and that I want to hurt him I run into his open arms.

He caught me and my legs wrap around his torso.

"I was so worried when your grandma says that you would be here, that you still are not over your
parents death, " he says in the crook of my neck while holding me tight. Afraid that I might slip out of
his hold any minute.

I pull back my head taking his face in my dirt hands which thankfully the rain kind of wash it from his
face. I smash my lips onto his. I know I needed this just to numb the pain for the mean time.



I needed this before everything is back to reality. He tries to pull away but I show him that I'm
desperately in need of his touch.

We moved away from the cemetery and into the forest not far from the eyes of warriors on duty or
anyone on the run.

I tore off his shirt and Matteo quickly pushes me up against a tree can't believe I'm doing this out in the
pouring rain and in the open area. I keep on moaning his name as he tore my clothes from my body
leaving me naked under his glory.

His eyes met mine alluring me even more to have him in me now. He position himself between my
parted legs for a second taking a deep breath before he took me against that tree.

And every pain I went through and tears that I shed today were long forgotten. As the only thing I'm
feeling is him filling me with nothing but pleasure that I am enjoying very much to numb everything.

I woke up sometimes later and found the other side of the bed empty. Well, after we had sex against
the tree we kind of continue it when we got home making sure no one is around to see us when we
sneak our way back here.

Matteo wasn't here but the coldness of the sheet beside me tells me that he have been gone for long
and I have been sleeping like a baby.

Pulling off the sheet from my naked body I lazily put on a shirt which covers my bottom and went to
look for him.

I followed his scent and Alera was disgust to smell it mix with another.

We stopped in front of his office door preparing to go in and face him but voices made us stop.



He was in there with someone I take a close ear to the door and with my werewolf hearing I listen
hoping to catch him cheating. Indeed, his angry voice and the female's frustration made me wonder
what could have go wrong.

"You have to take responsibility for your pup, he's your son not Lorentz pup" Alera whimpers in my
head of what the female is saying

"You know I've been there for him it's just that I can't be there I haven't told Addasah that you and I
have a child. Aren't you satisfied that Lorentz is a good father to him Quinn " I heard her groan in anger.

There was silence and I stood there taking in the info. Now I know Quinn and him obviously have a son
with her which is a fact.

Well, I can't believe this and I am being in Denial now.

"She needs to know and it's not like we weren't in love" she whisper yell out him.

"We used to love each other before she shown up Matt, and you promised that you'll only going to use
her," she says in defeat "yet in the end-"

There was a crash cutting her off and I instantly pull away from the door shutting out whatever the rest
of their conversation or heated arguments is about.

Clearly he was never mine. How could he profess he loves me, make love to me when all along he was
someone else's and what's worst he used me.1

My heart broke and all I could feel was betrayal and lies he made to me.

I was ready to forgive and try to forget everything because I wanted to be happy but this I don't think I
can move forward with it.+



I now know this is not some other mates love story, this love or whatever I have with Matteo
is...


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